Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
