can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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