there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
being pregnant is like rehab
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
