We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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