I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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