I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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