if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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