The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
