Pappa wants mamma naked
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
