she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
