What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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