How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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