Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
