But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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