I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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