Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my shit smells like andre
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
