Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
