I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Randomize