I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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