Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
