hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
