Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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