Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
