I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
