I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
