i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize