i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
