is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize