"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
