mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize