just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
