"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize