so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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