He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
