I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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