If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
