She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
