Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
