Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i have two assholes
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize