My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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