everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
