my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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