so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
