I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
