Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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