Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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