Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
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Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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