i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
