Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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