people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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