I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
