You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
