I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
