you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
