Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
