I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
