i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
