I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
