I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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