Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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