My first STD was from a foam party
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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