Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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