remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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