We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
