Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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